September 19

Just a friendly reminder to dust off that stuffed parrot tomorrow.

Over at The Gunroom, the list member known as Phil the Badger contributed the following...

Gather round, Lads and Lasses, gather round, while I tell 'ee how ye may hold yer heads up high on National Talk Like a Pirate Day.

'Tis simple; read The Pyrates by George MacDonald Fraser, and ye'll not only be eddicated (1) by the powers, but entertained likewise; an' ye may lay to that, wi' a wanion, else.

'Tis a tale of adventure,derring do, treachery and loyalty, a quest for fabulous treasure and true lovers parted and reunited, that ranges from Whitehall to the Spanish Main via the Indian Ocean, Madagascar, the Isle of Aves and Tortuga wi' a colourful cast of characters; videlicet:

The Pyrates:-

Calico Jack Rackham: a square jawed, clean-cut, gallant pirate Ann Bonney: his flame-haired voluptuous light o' love. (Phwooaaar!) Firebeard: a crazy pirate. Black Bilbo: a dandy pirate and deadly blade (2) who has never yet met his match. Happy Dan Pew: a mad Frog (3) obsessed with French irregular verbs. Akbar the Damned: a Barbary Rover(4). (The Sallee in our galley) Black Sheba: six foot of Armani-clad, Gucci accessoried deadly ebon beauty. (Phw . . .) (5)

Their Opponents (most of the time; with some infighting):-

Captain Benjamin (Long Ben) Avery: our square-jawed, clean-cut hero; seeking to clear his name from foul calumny. Thos. Blood (Colonel, cashiered): An Irish rogue(6). Ben's reluctant (7) sidekick. Admiral Rooke: a Bluff seadog. (Not the sharpest cutlass in the arms locker)(8) Vanity (aka Golden Vanity, Glodden Vantitty, etc.) his daughter; enamoured of Ben and determined to make him her own. Donna Melliflua Etcetera, 16-year-old Spanish hidalgo whistlebait; also enamoured of Ben, although she is betrothed to: Don Lardo Baluna del Lobby y Corridor, the monstrous, evil, and monstrously cruel Governor of Cartagena.

With supporting cast of:

Sam Pepys;King CHarleezz II; dwarfs; pawnbrokers; mad gardeners; dim English soldiery; hearty British Tars; pirates; Dons; dagoes; native tribesmen; slavers; pagan priestesses and Cobbleigh, U.T.

Featuring:

The fearsome Octopodes (thank 'ee, Ben) of Octopus Rock

With...

ERIK WOLFGANG KORNGOLD in a cameo role as"The Trumpeter"

(1) Discover the secrets of the dreaded maguay plant;know true nature of the camisadoe; learn which buccaneer became Archbishop of York.

(2) Wi' stoccata and imbroccata and punta rinversa, sa-ha!

(3) But hist! All is not as it seems.

(4) Educated Eton and Oxford (Balliol College; First in Greats).

(5) I was going to write "Phwooaaar! with knobs on"; but that would be crude, so I won't.

(6) The same who lifted the Crown Jewels, but was caught by chance before he could leave the Tower. Sought a private interview with King Charles, got it, and came away with a free pardon and a hatful of gold.

(7) He keeps trying to join the pirate, but they won't let him.

(8) More the thickest plank in the bulwark.