Sure Signs...

...that you've been reading too much Patrick O'Brian (contributed by various members of The Gunroom):

You start wishing people joy. "Wish you joy of your new car."

You blame your recent bad luck on lack of any backstays nearby to scratch.

Your arguments with your spouse now involve phrases like "Which I already took the trash out, didn't I?"

You've taken to eating toasted cheese.

You use the phrase "brought by the lee" in every day situations.

You call cleaning your house "a clean sweep fore and aft".

You've ever heard "Roast Beef of Old England" and found yourself getting hungry.

When you see an unusual beetle, you feel guilty for not putting it in your pocket.

All the metal in your house is polished really, really well.

(Lissun Chris Hopkins)

Which you join the Gunroom, don't you?

(Lissun Rosemary Davis)

You find that your supply of port and porter has gotten almost out of hand, and you've embarrassed every one in your lunch group by calling for a capital Madeira as an aperitif.

(Lissun Alice Gomez)

You look at your children's guinea pigs, and wonder if they can be et.

(Lissun Naomi Lloyd)

Which you start every sentence with "which", now don't you? Because why? Because you've been reading the Canon too much.

(Lissun Jim Muller)

Which I was just remarking to my son Preserved...

(Lissun Kerry Webb)